nitez.....

该睡了...
什么都别想，睡咯...
晚安~

希望明早会是很好的一天...
期待-ing...

Grown up

Once you have grown up,you will start to consider of many things.

Once you have grown up , you will no longer do something without thinking.

Once you have grown up , before you do something , you will think of it twice of more than twice. That's not because you don't dare to do it but you know it you need to plan for something before you do it.

Once you have grown up , you're no longer as childish as last time. You will have your own responsibility in everything.

Before i met you , i don't believe in love.
Maybe i scare to get hurt , i hate the pain brought to me because of love last time.
I'm really hurt. I scare i will get hurt once again.
Yeah , i admit , love is beautiful.I try my best to give whatever i can when i'm in a relationship with a girl.Eventhough when i'm courting a girl , i pay 100% love to them.Anyway, what did i get?Haiz...Painful inside my heart , nobody could ever see....I tried to be happy last time and i did it but..i have lost my happiness...

Now..i have found someone that i like but...haiz
I don't know what should i do...
SHe's still studying ...............................
AHhhhhhh..i hope she will not c what i write....haiz =(

i dunnoe what am i writing also.........

sleep better...now it is already 31st december...
I really like you but i don't dare to be together with you..
I wish to have a long relationship...what about you?!!are you the samE?
i dont know..... =(

Haiz

该醒醒了...Haiz..
我还是那么得害怕受伤..
明天你就出营了...
怎么现在的我...会担心呢..担心着什么...

或许，是担心自己会受伤害..
每次想到受伤的感觉，我好怕...真的很怕...
KL选择真的太多了...我对自己完全没有信心..
况且....那么多选择，我对你而言真的是那么不起眼吧...
Haiz..
我没勇气说出自己的心声...
没勇气告诉你，我对你有感觉.....
你我的距离是那么的远....
在那里，有很多条件好的男生..
而我....haiz....

算了，算了...

我，无言了=(

睡了咯~

呵呵，挺累的，该上床睡了，
明天起床后，就是30号了，距离你出营的时间还有一天，
好期待^^

希望你出营第一个会找我咯~
也许我在工作但是收到你的信息，
我会很开心的哦^^

Heart you...想死你，晚安咯...
Muacksssss ^^

哇靠....

原来想念一个人是那么的难受....
一直等就那样我等了三天>.<
还在等着你出营的日子...
突然之间我担心了..担心你出营后，会忘了我...
或许是自己觉得自己不够好吧...
营里面应该有很多的帅哥吧，呵呵...那你的追求者应该也很多咯~

惨了，想你...想你...我真的好想你哦。
不知道你现在都在做些什么呢...>.>
怎么去那么久的，haiz.....五天的camp都在玩些什么啦=(
怎么我会一直想起你呢...........................haiz....
想着想着，开始焦虑了，都是不想了...haiz.....

缘分??!!

好久都没上来写部落了，然而，今天决定了上来写写一些东西咯^^
其实写回部落，都是为了你，这部落很早以前我就没写了，当时是自己不开心时写的吧，然而，当我不再不开心时，就没写部落了咯~都是你咯，害到人家还得update我的部落>.<确保你会时常来浏览咯^^那也不会白费我的一番苦心啦~
有多少的人相信缘分呢？
总是听人说，使你缘分还没到，当它来了，你要挡也挡不了..
以前的我，总觉得这是在安慰自己的说法吧>.<
但是现在...LOLx...我相信了，缘分~

在营里那几天，我真的挺开心的，没想到你真的和我同一组。
哈哈，爽死我^^
其实我并不是第一次见过你吧...
有好几次看到你，只是我并不认识你是谁=.=''
矮矮的,我心里会想,哇,还挺可爱的..>.<

然而，或许我长大了...
所顾虑的东西，越来越多...
换成是从前的我，一定不管三七二十一，就采取行动了，hah..
还记得中学老师所说的，中学生血气方刚，果然说得没错.....
现在想起来，当初的自己，真得很傻，很傻，但是，我可不会后悔哦！
因为傻，我换来了好多好多的美好回忆^^

回到正题咯~哈哈..有时我会想，该怎么做呢...
其实我也不知道..只知道自己是真的....对她有感觉....
从前天你进营，我就开始想你了...5点我才睡，但是我还是坚持要早早起床call你..
只因我想在你进营前，告诉你小心，告诉你...我真的很想你...但是，我们的谈话还挺短了，有好多好多的话，我都来不及告诉你...Haiz.......

进营两天了，我总在想，你过得好不好啊...应该很好玩吧，在里面有没有认识到帅哥呢....
出营后..你还会记得我吗?!我好想告诉你，我真的很象很想你....认识你的时间不长，然而...对你的感觉一天一天的在升华，不知怎么，你就是那样的深深地把我给吸引了，好喜欢和你聊天的感觉，很舒服，很开心....然而，我开始害怕了，害怕再次的受伤害..我害怕，你我的距离，对你我是个很大的挑战吧，其实，我也不知道自己该怎么做，挣扎了好久.......不知道，你有没有意愿想和我一起..战胜距离呢.?但是那应该会很困难吧~KL那里...那么多选择....而我，只是个不起眼的男生~ :(

其实，我还挺期待有天能和你一起玩dota的，不知道，你几时才会去学的~呵呵
期待-ing ^^

这部落，都是不告诉你先~哈哈哈^^

巨蟹是心軟的，容易被感動，即使表面看起來總是有一副硬硬的殼，但那殼子底下是一顆柔軟敏感到極至的內心。它們面對一份感情是猶豫再三的，不要說它們懦弱，它們只是明白自己是容易受傷的。他們對感情抱有信仰，相信純真、相信天長地久，所以有時是挑剔的。　　這是一層表面堅硬的殼，其實攻克輕而易舉，因為蟹蟹有一顆柔軟的心。　　蟹蟹戀愛了，這時的它們變的很粘人，很婆媽，因為你是它的中心，它會為你考慮很多，飯吃了嗎？天氣會變了嗎？記得帶傘哦！路上車多，慢點走哦！……..諸如此類！　　蟹蟹是深情而癡情的，愛上一個人會愛的很深，即使明知道沒有結果也很難自拔。這是巨蟹的一種固執，想要得到的東西，往往不會輕易放手。有時，一段沒有結果的戀情會成為蟹蟹的生活重心。這無疑是痛苦的，但又難以自拔。然而，巨蟹的不安全感又在內心大叫著放棄，所以這時的蟹蟹總是在堅持和放棄的巨大矛盾中苦苦煎熬著。學會放棄是蟹蟹的一門功課.　　當然，如果蟹蟹真的決定放棄了，它的堅決會讓所有人吃驚。　　　　要記住：除了你自己，沒有人可以傷害到你　　蟹子是癡情的，但又不善於表達，面對自己心愛的人拘謹、放不開。它們的幽默感此刻變得生澀。　　蟹子是深情的，但又不善於把握，為什麼一次次控制不住自己的情緒，說出明知不該講的話？　　分裂而善於幻想的寄居蟹在說巨蟹之前，先說說幾個一直以來欣賞的幾個偶像，他們都不同，但他們有一個共同點，就是，他們都是巨蟹男。周星馳，王家衛，羅大佑，李宗盛，梁朝偉，張學友……一般在每次排行榜中總是靠末的巨蟹們，看起來並沒有很明顯的個性，但是，他們在藝術方面的直覺和敏銳卻是別人難以匹敵，從這幾個人名裡就不難看出。他們在生活中都是溫文爾雅的，被動的，甚至往往是沉默的，但是在他們的電影，歌曲中，卻展露出令人驚異的才華，讓我們總是不由自主的為之傾倒。當周星馳讓我們笑得淚水橫流的時候，我們也早聽聞其實戲外的他認真嚴肅，不苟言笑，對待朋友和情人都很苛刻；我們知道在戲裡演什麼都神形畢似的影帝梁朝偉同性格南轅北轍的射手劉嘉玲20多年同居，至今都不願結婚，他總是說，其實他的人生就是在戲裡；我們知道張學友出道前曾經是黑社會的小混混，天天宿醉，自暴自棄，也看到張學友成名後依然為了家庭拚命打拼，幾近崩潰……　　這就是巨蟹，其實，最能說明巨蟹特質的，就是－－分裂無論是哪一種蟹，他們都有著分裂的思想。他們渴望安定，也渴望出人頭地，他們內心充滿藝術的靈感，誇張的幻象，但是在現實生活中，他們總是低眉順眼，很難真正展露心中的狂想。所以在藝術的舞台上，他們反而得以施展，讓心中奇異的狂想放大到極致，他們可以將任何一首歌一個角色演繹的入木三分，所有來自於生活中被動的接受，在藝術的殿堂上得到了最好的宣洩，所以巨蟹真的應該屬於舞台。即使沒有好的歌喉沒有好的外形，但是他們有良好的感受力和表現力，他們的性格實際上更像是一隻寄居蟹，在真正自我的生活中，他們常常將自己包裹的很緊，但在詮釋和演繹別人的時候，他們那內心的感情得到了釋放。　　巨蟹座的另一個長處是他們有著哲學的思考力世界因兩股力量相互消長，而水象就是典型的陰柔之力。水象星座的人有一種天生的宇宙觀，巨蟹也是如此，加之他們天生有母愛的情結，所以他們的思考往往帶有著人性化的關懷。所以從事與藝術相關的行業的巨蟹，無論如何都可以算是幸運的巨蟹，因為能夠得以發揮天然的性格所長。但是不是每個巨蟹都有這樣的機會，所以大多數巨蟹都會感到自己的壓抑和痛苦。他們不是沒有渴望，相反他們需求很多，渴望很多，但是他們總是躲在自己的殼裡做著各式各樣的幻夢，只是在想，很少實施。所以如果你看到的總是低眉順眼的巨蟹實際上並不是真正的巨蟹。那只是巨蟹的一個假象。　　永遠無法抹去的自卑巨蟹們其實是自我感覺很好的心高氣傲的一群人，但是卻又難以克服時時刻刻想躲進殼裡的自卑感。他們天生多疑和敏感，碰到困難，就先躲進殼裡，自欺欺人，在夢中編織自我的安全感，而從來沒有想到如何主動將危機轉化為機遇。他們對待困難的消極方式，使他們總很難真正木秀於林，他們總在捕捉他們認為最好的時機，但是那個時機卻總是無法到來，其實世間哪有萬全之策？當蟹蟹們艱苦的自我互博之時，大好時機已經失去。但是要改變這種天生的自卑感確乎很難，蟹蟹們幾乎完全不由自主。　　懷舊是巨蟹們的人生主旋律巨蟹們非常懷舊。他們喜歡舊東西，懷戀舊感情，對家庭有著天然的眷戀。泛黃的相片，褪色的絲帶，塵封的梳妝台……所有一切帶有浪漫情調的舊物，都可以讓他們獨自神傷，黯然追想，他們總是沉浸在過去的回憶裡，永遠記得年少時的孤寂敏感，永遠記得初戀情人，多年後仍然四處找尋初戀情人的消息，慰籍多年來始終保持新鮮的記憶。所以王家衛的電影總喜歡用這樣的句式開頭：多年以後……　　忽冷忽熱患得患失的愛情他們天生悲觀，永遠需要多一點，更多一點的安全感。為什麼他們如此需要安全感，因為他們天生就沒有安全感，所以他們是很容易恐慌的，所以他們也就變得非常的多疑和猜忌。愛上一個巨蟹是要仔細思量的，因為他們會突然忽冷忽熱，突然置之不理，突然惡言相向，但是其實他們並非不愛你，他們有時候是在跟自己嘔氣。他們渴望天天24小時同你粘在一起，他們對愛人有著強烈的佔有慾，恨不得掏心掏肺給你，他們關注你的點點滴滴，小到為你買一支發卡，大到幫你選擇哪路公車……他們都費勁心思，他們時時刻刻每件事都為你考量，但又因為付出的不停增加而變得越來越擔心害怕，會不會得不到對等的愛。所以他們會突然變得冷淡了，也許只因為你一個眼神，他們就覺得你已經不如從前，於是開始無休止的試探，他們說話總是轉彎抹角，但是卻總希望你永遠清晰表態，假設某天你也含糊了一下，那就完了，蟹蟹們立刻條件反射的開始惴想出無數個虛擬場景，在無盡的悲觀中，意淫出種種悲慘場面，然後再見你時，就已經是冷口冷面，甚至說出無比絕情的話語－－所以，你和巨蟹的他們，是要努力去磨合的，給他們足夠的信賴和安全，他們回饋你的，絕對讓你感動的熱淚盈眶。　　虛偽包裝下易感的心實際上巨蟹善於偽裝。他們喜歡笑，無論何時何地，他們常常微笑，也許這笑容有時候讓人欣慰，但有時候卻會讓人感到非常的虛偽。當然巨蟹們也總有自己的小奸小壞，但是他們虛偽的前提卻總是先為了保護自己。他們對自己應得的利益是淄銖必較，有時候會讓人感到他們是不是很小心眼，但是，在朋友聚會等場合上，他們又絕對是豪爽大方，主動搶著付賬的人。所以其實巨蟹是個公私概念很明確的人，他們對該得的絕對毫不客氣，而對待朋友，他們又覺得其實這點錢根本不算什麼。他們是眷戀朋友和家人的，他們基本都有些喜歡酒。而且酒量都還不錯，因為他們眷戀那種賓客相盡歡的氣氛，更眷戀著家的和樂融洽之感。所以巨蟹們喜歡做飯，即使不會做飯也對美食有天然偏愛，他們懂得享受居家生活，所以巨蟹們有個理想婚姻是最快樂的事情。問題是巨蟹們卻常常選擇晚婚或不結婚，因為他們多疑又害怕，他們總是對新幻境充滿懷疑，對新的家庭又嚮往又拒絕，在自我矛盾中，不斷蹉跎了年華。　　自己為自己創造安定感覺巨蟹們總是不安，這是一種不好的感覺，因為如此，許多巨蟹枉然蹉跎，終日鬱鬱。其實，巨蟹們可以嘗試自己為自己創造安定的感覺。找一個家裡人都喜歡的對象，建立一個自己的家，也許巨蟹會發現自己會變得安穩很多。找個摩羯是比較理想的選擇。或者找一個自己的愛好，傾注所有的心血，自己也會變得安定很多。當然蟹蟹們也許會說，你這是站著說話不腰疼啊，要是那麼容易的話，還用得著你說嗎？呵。但是，無論怎樣，當我們自己意識到自己的不安，就該努力去克服他，其實殼外的世界，沒有那麼可怕，這是真的。　　總的說來，巨蟹們很可愛，尤其是在藝術上有成就的那些人，他們創造的都是令人仰止的豐碑，所以巨蟹們不必沒來由自卑，其實你們都很出色。

放下了，换来了轻松，笑容^^

昨天，说真的，是我最开心，最轻松的一天，不知怎么，我感觉周围的一天都很美，很好..
哈哈，我昨天没有叹气，我..破纪录了，没有haiz的一天，我感觉好像放下了心头大石，一直困扰着我的事解决了..我告诉自己，我一定会开心的走下去，不再叹气，不再去想不开心，伤心的事.

哈哈,现在才知道，喜欢上一个人，原来也可以很开心的..想起她时，我并不会感到难过..然而，心里会觉得甜甜的.很开心，很开心，原来，暗恋也可以很甜的=) 哈哈...
虽然，只是在远远看着她，虽然，并没有打算靠近，但是，我还是会默默的支持，为她加油的=)

不再盲目的追求一切，以往开心的我，将会再次的出现咯~嘻嘻，我好久都没那么开心了!!!!!!!!!

~压力~

最近真的被压力压到喘不过气了，工作的压力...突然觉得，身边的一切都很不美好。
动不动就唉声叹气，再不是就是火气有点大，动不动就会很不耐烦咯...多问几句，我就想骂人了...

Haiz..现在的我，好希望找到一个很好的聆听者，静静的，聆听着我的一切，静静的，聆听着我的不愉快...只要把我不愉快的东西都说出来，那我就会好过点咯..然而，我到现在还在寻找着这所谓的聆听者，好希望，能够快点找到..

看了日剧<恋空>觉得这日剧真的很棒...感动的情节，男女主角相爱的一切，还有男主角伟大的..为了美嘉的幸福，宁愿牺牲自己...让我深深的体会到，自己的幸福，应该自己去争取，幸福不会主动来找你的....我好希望，自己能够自己去追求属于自己的一切...我会的，只要我准备好了，我就会去寻回我自己的幸福，信心，一切的一切。

一个没有信心的人，做什么都不会成功，因为他已丧失了对自己的信任，不再相信自己的能力，低估自己，而我，将会再次的站起来，再次的，寻回属于自己的信心，我一定会做到....听着恋空的主题曲..让我想起了它的剧情...这内心的刺痛，是怎么回事呢？或许，戏里的一切深深的烙印在我的心里吧...戏如人生，人生如戏...再次的对自己承诺，我一定会做到的..

Gambateh yo! =)

一个不知名的东西

再次的回到了这部落格，我深深的知道，我的专长，是写作...只有运用这文字，才可以让我完完全全的说出自己的感受....文字，是我最好的朋友.....今天就让我来写写，以前的一些故事吧~


三年前

我是一个天真的小孩，和其他的中学生一样，我十分喜欢我的中学生涯，最开心的，就是可以和一般朋友吹吹水，谈天说地...什么都聊，甚至可以聊个不停...三年后的我，还是没变，还是老样子...或许，朋友对我而言，是很重要的.....
每天一去到学校，便是到我朋友班去，哪怕是一个在一楼，我班在三楼，我还是会去，因为朋友，让我的早晨充满了快乐的前奏，让我的一天充满了希望...中学时的我，并不是什么乖孩子吧，老师说一我做二，时常把老师的话当耳边风，功课可以说没交过咯~呵呵，然而，其他的成绩都很差，就是语文课，我还是没有退步过...或许，这就是我的优点吧，不用什么读书的我，还是可以在语文课里得到好的成绩...

当时的我中四...天真的我总以为自己是最棒的..然而，一个女生，让我彻底的明白了，原来自己是那么的脆弱，那么的幼稚...喜欢上她，对我造成的伤害是何等的大，连我自己也无法预料....
她的条件是何等的好，对我而言，她是很多追求者的吧...起初我认为只要我坚持下去，也许会成功，然而..一次又一次的被拒绝...我真得很难过，很伤心...好多次，我都打算放弃，然而，自己却还是控制不了自己...轻敌固然多，然而，对我来说，他才是最大的情敌吧..他的出现，让我对自己丧失了信心...我知道自己是不会有机会的吧，他那么的好...而我..一个幼稚的小男生?lol..没用的我，只可以自己独自的伤心吧，我哭的时候，有谁懂...一只告诉自己放弃，却放不了..一厢情愿的我，只可以独自伤悲，被刺痛的心，被夺走的自信心...当时的我，已经不再对自己有信心了，由于自己抱着很大的希望，换来的却是伤痕累累,第一次，我是真的受伤了，刺痛了的心，我好难过，好伤心，号码换了又换只为了避开她...给她的生日礼物，星星，折了几个月..然而，她收到也不会开心吧...
身边的朋友都告诉我放弃..她不会喜欢我的，我也知道，她应该是喜欢他吧...心里一直告诉自己，是时候放弃了，然而，这方法却只伤了我自己，我不知道还能做些什么.一年的时间，我都活在极度伤心的日子里吧...晚上也不怎么睡得着，那是我第一次为了一个女生失眠，流泪....

两年前
就这样，一年过去了,伤心了几个月..我遇上了一个女生...缘分真的很微妙，是透过我朋友给我的电话号码吧..我发了短信去，就那样认识了，然而，我并不知道她长什么样子...她是我的前任女友吧....其实我就是那样，糊里糊涂的就跟他一起了....一个月的时间，我并不了解她，不知道她长什么样...当时我在想或许，我应该尝试跟她一起?给自己和别人一个机会吧...而她，也是那么想的吧(因为她也为了一个男生而烦)而她和我，就因为同病相怜而在一起..这听起来很怪，但是却是真实的。。。就那样，跟她一起两年的时间，毕竟想出了那么久，感情还是会有吧..然而，那好像不是爱情...我爱的还是最初的那个..很明确很明确，好多次心里一直挣扎着，怪自己当初不三思，我又不想伤害她，也不想让自己受伤害...所以，就那样，过了两年多..两年说长不长，说短不短，而当中也发生了些事吧..或许是我不好，她遇上另一个男生，而她竟然瞒着我跟他交往了1个月，我好愚昧，竟然选择了原谅她，也许，我是不想看到她伤心吧，所以，选择了留下陪她，直到她找到了另一个...就在一年后她找到了，而我和她的缘分就到此结束咯...伤心，也只伤心了几天罢了..也许是不习惯没人陪吧，然而我知道，自己深爱的，还是另有其人....但是我好像并没有资格说出来吧...说出来了，还是被拒绝，一句普通朋友就足以让我却步.....
我有想过等她，一直等下去，然而，一直受伤，让我麻木了，很多事还没做我就知道结果，而当我去做，就算是那样也无所谓了，因为我已有了心理准备...就在她最后一次拒绝我的时候，我以为自己会很伤心，然而我没哭，我知道，自己已被hurt到没知觉了，习惯了那种痛...从此之后，我告诉自己，我不会再让女生hurt我，就算我遇到喜欢的，我也不会去行动，只因我真的很怕失败，很怕被拒绝...

就那样，来到了今天，就快半年了我不再去追求女生..因为我知道，我没资格给她们任何的承诺...或许，我会是个很疼女朋友的男生，然而，我却没有机会去尝试疼一个女生，告诉她我爱你...不开心时，我希望他会听我倾诉，我一直都在寻找着，寻找着，我希望自己会找到，我也希望她会是我的终身伴侣，看清楚咯，是未来的妻子咯~

Seaching , searching and searching......

除了叹气，还能怎样?

总是叹气，叹气，叹气时总是想起你...
好想发封短信给你...真的好想你..
然而，每次我都打消了自己的念头..或许，你根本就不在乎吧..不是吗..

自己还是那么的关心你...好像知道你的近况，然而，没有资格的我..总不是第一个知道你的近况...为什么,自己那么的深爱着你，不断地问自己，不断地告诉自己，凯豪，该放弃了...但是，内心深处的我..做不到，做不到...

不是我不想忘了你，而是我，无法将你忘去...知道你在油战打工..好像告诉你要小心..等等等等..然而我没说...只因为，我知道，说了只会让你反感吧...

无论我再怎么的麻醉自己，还是无法将你从我内心深处抹去，我不知道我还能做些什么...只知道，现在的我，已没有任何的奢求了...我真的只希望你会过得很好，你会过得开心，你..会遇到一个对你很好的男生...幸福快乐..而我..呵呵，也就只有默默的祝福你吧......

不知还能说些什么，只希望，你开心，幸福...

loving you..........

上来写废话了~

What will a guy who lost his confidence do ?
I don't know...But he afraid of nothing , but just one thing he's really afraid of..

What shall i do ....
try to wash everything clear , but i can't do it.
I hope i can , but the fact is a no...What have i done wrong ? i asked myself.
I can't find the answer , why am i afraid of this kind of thing . Remember last time , i'll never feel afraid . Maybe last time i was innocent , but not now.
Grown up , i have to concern about many things.Unlike last time , do whatever i want to do , nowaday no longer happy memories for me . I enjoy the life with friends , that's great...

No one will ever cherish the time , we will only feel regretful when we visualise the past...
Promise to myself , i'll make myself better . I need to get my confidence back ....I need and i will.......First thing first , i have to forget someone completely , and the other thing , i'll concentrate in my career ....i hope i can do so...

My friends , let us work together to archieve our goals , no matter it's stpm or working , i know that there might be a time we can gather together , and we'll enjoy our time together...nothing is imposible , qi , xin min , shi rong , ffish , mango , seng kiet , monkey , jwen , and so on =) gambateh!! 90s

我的梦想其实很简单..我只想让别人开心，我自己开不开心，并不重要~只要别人开心，我就够了~

呵呵...no matter who you are , as soon as you know me , i'll try my best to entertain you , and for sure , i hope i can educate more people , and i'll make them in love in learning english and other subjects too , i'll try my best!!!

What shall i do?

Wondering about something , but i don't brave enough to solve it.
Hide it inside my heart , because i know that i'll be a nother impossible mission.
Adore , like or love ,

Is it adore? Is it like ? or It's love?
The best way for me to solve my problem , it's avoid myself to fall in love one more time to another girl , without hesitation , i'll do like this.Yeah , that's the best way for me to cure and to forget the impact that brought by the love issues to me.

19 years old , no matter adore , like or love , i have experienced before.
As what i said , i don't want to suffer in this kind of issues anymore .
Although there's someone that i like , i'll choose to avoid rather than try my best to get her.

I have gone through a lot of trouble last time ,.Sometimes i'll ask myself , why should we be together with another girl/boy? I know it clearly , if we love someone , we hope that we can give happiness to her, no matter where she/he is , as soon as we can accompany him/her , she will feel happy. Is it?
Well , maybe it's right , or maybe that's wrong!

Sometimes , no matter how hard have we worked for that , we will never get the one that we love because there's a lot of thing that have been destined . No matter how hard have you given out , you can never change the fact.So , what shall we do?

Do not want to take any actions don't mean that i'm giving up but i know that , since i can't give her anything , why don't i wait till someone who can give her happiness to take good care of her? Somemore , a guy who lost his confidence will never shine no matter what had he done...

Working

Working life's great but study life is much more greater than working.
While i was still studying , i hoped that one day later i can graduated from that stupid school!Anyway , once i have graduated from the school , i found that everything have been changed.

Most of my friends went to their own college , happy moments were no longer there.
I enjoyed the time to pass with my friends , i like to talk with them , eventhough i know that we're talking craps but who cares? As long as we enjoyed it , then it's fine!
Working life can be interesting and it can be dull too! Just depend whether you enjoy you job or not..As for me , i enjoy my job there , so i have no problem in working there..

Anyway , working in an office is not as easy as what we think.There might be a lot of hypocrite inside the office.Well i'm not talking about myself , cause i'm not..i reveal myself and i make fun of myself , that's why , i have a lot of friends!
I met with a few colleague , they are all very nice and all of us like to joke .
"Working without joke make Jill a dull person" is it like that? Maybe lol!

As for me , i have my own opinions , whatever thing that those people told me , i'll not trust it 100% , i'll think and i'll ask myself , is it true? Cause i know , we can't believe in what those people say without any prove.We have to find the answer for ourselves , don't follow suit what the other people do but , we have to step out the first step and all of the people will follow us!That's what i want.

No matter how busy my work is , i'll finish it as soon as possible , i don't like to drag my work because i know that , we have to finish our work as soon as possible or else we'll have a lot of incomplete thing to do!
It doesn't mean that i want to make myself busy but i want to finish my work =)

Anyway , no one is perfect , even i'll make mistakes sometimes but i will admit it! i will not pretend i'm very good . Once you reveal your mistakes , you accept it , you receive it , only you will become better and better.The one who doesn't want to admit his mistakes , will never success !

Working , working and working , when will i stop my working life and continue my study? haha , i don't know yet ~ maybe it'll be in no time , or maybe few years later?cause i'm now happy with my salary and yeah , happy to work there=) i have learnt a lot of english vocabularies and i have learnt a lot OF grammar knowledge there =)

So, TVR is the place for me to improve myself , why should i release this golden opportunity for me to become a better speaker or a better teacher?Whenever i have spoken something wrong,they found that's funny and laugh , but i don't mind i'll receive it and i'll ask them the correct way to speak it out.SO , that's how i improve , i never get angry when people laugh at me , when they laugh i feel happy and they feel happy too , so what for i get angry?

Haha , i can't find any reason for myself to quit this job~

CheerS for my work , cheerS for my friends and cheerS for my SINGLE LIFE =)

珍惜眼前人，珍惜你现有的一切~

珍惜眼前人，珍惜你现有的一切，我们都会说，但是有多少个人可以做到?
没有几个吧，人总是那样，在你身边的，你永远都不会珍惜，等到失去了，才来后悔。
但是很多事，就算你后悔，都来不及了，走了就是走了，不想Terminator Salvation 所说的"everyone deserves a second chance"我看了那个电影，反复思考，并不是每件事都有第二次机会的..为何我们要期待着第二次的机会...请珍惜现有的，现在的才是珍贵的~失而复得，也许那东西，已经不是以前那么的纯洁，珍贵了...

回想起三年前，一件事彻底的改变了我的人生观~中四的那年，我就是一个"幼稚的小孩"
每天都只会嘻嘻哈哈的玩耍~从来就不会珍惜自己身边所拥有的~但是...他的离去..是我一生的遗憾，我无法原谅自己，从来没有珍惜和他一起时的日子..如果，当初我可以跟他多沟通，或许他留给我的回忆，并不只这么些~
一天早上，我和往常一样，到篮球场去打球，出去时，我开了他房间的门，"他回来了"..心里想着，也许是搭火车刚回到吧，之后我就出去了..谁会想到，那时我最后一次听到他咳嗽的声音..之后，就再也没机会了..

打完球后，我就在家打电动，他出去了，打着打着，电话响起了...我接听了电话，是一个aunty打来了，是她告诉我，我舅舅刚在去医院途中哮喘病发作，去世了，这晴天霹雳的消息..我不敢相信自己听到的一切..告诉了我妈这消息..她红了眼眶。

之后，我就跟我爸去了医院...到了那里，一具冷冰冰的尸体，躺在床上..我..摇了摇他..叫了他几次..但是他并没有回应我,泪水忍不住地落下了...我大声地呐喊着。。。心里想着，为什么???为什么????!!!!无法接受这是事实的我，只可以强忍着泪水,因为他们说，当一个人往生时，若有泪水滴到，就好像被雷劈那么的痛苦,这时的我，才知道，原来生命是何等的脆弱...回到家，一次又一次的，思考着。八年了，同一屋檐下，我跟他有过什么美好的回忆。.没有。.我怪自己，怎么从来没有珍惜过,要是时光能够倒流，是多好的事，但是，那是不可能的...我知道.....
他的离去..对我当时的打击挺大的..然而，现在想起，除了遗憾，还是会有点伤心..只因，这是我一生的遗憾..人的一生总会有不少的遗憾，遗憾不能跟自己最心爱的人一起，遗憾没有珍惜以前的日子，遗憾没有珍惜眼前人...然而，多少的人，可以真正的做到，珍惜眼前人这件事?

时间一去不回头，没有时光倒流这回事，过了就是过了，没了就是没了..无论你再怎么的痛哭，怎么的挣扎，也不会有转机..何不从现在起，就学会珍惜，眼前每个人呢???

Waiting

As usual , yesterday was not a great day for me.
I have been a long time never have a great day.

Since last few months , until now , i'm still waiting for the day,a full happy day for me.Don't know why , no matter how happy i'm now , i'll still have some unhappy moments too.Maybe i'm lacking of something.

I know, i can't be like that , holding for a thing tightly . I need to learn , how to put down the thing and how to make myself happy...

Sighing , sighing , sighing , non stop sighing for me , always haiz...
I don't know why , but the sigh , comes out from deep of my heart , deep in my heart , i know myself is unhappy , but i have to be happy in front of the people , because i told myself last time , i want to bring happiness to all of the people around me .
No matter when , no matter how , i want to see everyone's happy.

But as what i said last time , a guy who makes people happy , doesn't mean that he's happy.That's true , cause i'm experiencing it now.I know the feeling.I know that , how struggle i am.Pretend nothing to be happened , pretend i don't care about you , pretend i'm now very happy...My life's still miserable , full with misery , i still haven changed my life yet.Eventhough i like my job , i know that there's something i can't forget...

What should i do ? i don't know , maybe , what i have to do is , to wait the time , brushes everything clean , even my feeling towards you , i hope i can , forget you as soon as possible.Forgive me , for doing such a decision.Because i have been struggling for so many months , or maybe years .That's the most disastrous moments for me , i never tell anyone , even you , nobody will know how do i feel. Even when i was in a relationship before , haiz...that's what i can't forgive myself until now.

Refuse to start another relationship , refuse to take any actions toward the girl i like , because i scare , i might hurt another one , or i might hurt myself too..
I'm afraid of the hurt feeling...so i decided not to involve myself in any relationships anymore...

错，错，错..

当初告诉你这部落的存在就是错误的选择....
告诉自己要把你忘了...
但是一直以来都知道自己做不到...

Whatever i have done , were wrong..I was not supposed to tell you the existance of this blog , Why i can't forget you until now .I hope i can forget you and i thought i have already forget you.But the fact is a NO..

Everytimes after chatting with you , my mood turn down immediately ,eventhough i feel like want to chat with you , i'll never double click on your name and type hi...just to avoid any painful memories come into my mind .
Painful inside my heart , you'll never seen ...you'll never feel , you'll never know....

Visualize the past , you hurt me badly , i can't forget you . Sorry .. After 3-4 months , i have to say , i love you..Eventhough you and I never be together before , I know that's love.

I can't forget the one i love , that's you....I love you so much . I have been hiding the feeling inside deep of my heart , but today i can't stand for it anymore...I feel like want to cry , i can't forgive myself , for falling in love with you so deeply ..Sorry , i can't forget you , sorry , i love you...

And whatever i have written here , just to say that , i love you juan , no matter what , no matter when .....

that's what we always say ,
你能看到我在屏幕上的字,却看不到我在键盘上的泪.....

I hope you will never come to this blog , i told you i'll not write blog anymore , because i don't want you to know what am i thinking about...

Although i love you deeply , i'll never take action and i know..you'll get a bf one day later.....

What i hope is , you'll be happy...That's really enough...

Wrong,Totally wrong..

This time , i realize that i am actually a little dust in this world .
When we think that we are very good , but actually we are not.Felt ashamed ,
and i think now is the time for me to learn something besides teaching.

I need to improve my grammar , so i need to work hard on it.I hope , i can make a
perfect article or passage without any grammatical errors and other mistakes.
I know it , i have to try my best to achieve that level .As for now , i know that i still have to improve myself , i have to practice more in listening , in writing and also in reading. So ,i decided to read an article per day , to listen to the radio broadcast if i have times.

Anyway ,i know that it really takes time for me to improve my english , and i know that,at the beginning i'll feel that it's hard to learn the new things , but i have the desire to learn , so i'll make it better and i hope i can make a perfect article next time.

Last but not least , i hope that , i can become a good teacher and a good speaker for sure , without any grammatical errors and accurate in spotting the mistakes when i have to do so..

Haiz...

Why should i suffer like this....
If there's a shoulder for me to cry...i will
If there's someone who will to listen to me ... i hope so...

I know that....i can't tell my problem to anyone....
No one could ever help me..
But i'll affect them to be unhappy too...
Now i realise...keep your unhappy memory...is better than split it out...
That's why....i have chosen to write the blog...blogging...can help me to release everything un happy...

Now ...i really feel like want to cry..i don''t know why...maybe i realise something...somethin that i could never forget

What else can i do?i don't know...

Expected too much?!!

Well , i expected too much for myself...i thought i'm good but actually i'm not...Haiz...

I can't even handle the kids..i felt...sad...upset / disastrous....once again...i'm struggling...Haiz...i thought that , when i be good with them , they will like me...
But i'm totally wrong..if i'm too good to them..they'll no longer respect you as a teacher....What else can i do...Haiz..i donnoe..

I have to change...i've to find a solution for this...And..i dun wan to feel sorry to anyone..Haiz..My..i've expected too much for myself...maybe...i don't know what can i do anymore....

I ask myself...am i a good teacher?!!
Inside my heart..i'll say no...for now...

But next time...i hope i'll be....

Unhappy day...

Today...i'm so unhappy.....it doesnt matter wif the love issue....but..i think i have to ....change my mind......maybe..i'm not the best?! and i'm not a good teacher as well...

My intention...is very simple..i want to be a good teacher , and i hope that everyone can get the knowledge from me......I love teaching ...i enjoy , and i hope i can educate more people..ya...the paid is good...but it doesnt matter for me...if i can't teach them anything..i rather quit......

What i want , is ....i hope that , everyone enjoy my class...they won't show their sour face to me...But...I'm wrong....am i doing the things wrongly?! i dunnoe...Maybe ..i cannot read the child's mind....i don't know what are they thinking...they are so moody.....but..i hope they laugh , they feel happy to join my classs...but today..i'm wrong..i don't even know what happen to him?! keep on showing me his sour face...and cry in my class...what happen? i dont know...maybe..he's jealous when i teach another people things...and he's jealous for something else?i'm not sure....i felt very upset...now i know..its not an easy job...
so...i asked them...Do you like me?! if no....i'll ask them to change your teacher...Maybe , i'm not a good teacher....but if you to change...its ok for me......They said dun wan......i dunnoe what can i do...i hope next time..i'll become better and better...i love this job..and i enjoy it...and...i felt appreciate to my boss...he's the one who trust and give me an opportunity in this......So...you're the one i respect a lot.....Thank you!

As for the students...i'll change myself...and become better and better....for sure..i'll keep on improving myself and won't maintain at the same point forever....
And i hope..next time..i'll become a good and humurous teacher......so..everyone...will enjoy my class..and they show respect to me...that's wat i want......looking forward for it...i'll try best and DO MY BEST TO ACHIEVE MY AIM!!!!!!!

GAMBATEH KAEHOW........

best regard~
KaeHow

Back from KB..

2 days...stayed in Kb , attending the course...that's a nice course...
i did learn many things there...Ya....I learnt a lot....Regarding how to teach ,and...all of the teacher were older than me , and i'm the youngest among all of them...

Muet result's release...And i didnt feel upset , even that's a pity Band 2 ...Haha...ya BAND 2...i didnt feel upset at all..cause i know when the time i took Muet , my english was not as good as now...and i have confidence that , if next year i retake the muet...i'll make it better...i'm looking forward for band 4/5....If possible...Cause.i've been preparing since last 2 months....haha..maybe that's not a preparation ..but , once i'm working , i use english all the time , i speak , and i learn a lot of new vocabulary....it doesnt mean that english is hard....depend , whether you ..want to learn ? or not...if you want , that's as easy as ABC...
Its because i'm interesting in these kind of language , so ...i can catch up very fast...but , i'll give up if u wan me to take those science or mathematic...lol..really cannot make it....

Anyway , the course , good , i enjoy myself , even though ...i'm the only "teenager" and BOY!! other than me , all are Women =.='' how could i survive ?! but i did it...
that's who i am.....that's a big challenge for me ...but do remember ..i'm the one,who like to accept the challege.....i've prepared very well , and i hope that i could deliver my 1st speech in toastmaster....as soon as possible...

there's one story regarding myself...which's very impressive...even if i'm training....i cannot make it...and feel like wanna cry...but...i'm not going to make it...in my 1st speech..maybe , i'll share the experience....in teaching.....in my 1st speech... =)

next week will be 21st july.....haha.....my birthday....looking forward to celebrate with my friends.~ but...will they able to remember my birthday?!! hehe.....

Friday / Saturday

Friday and Saturday....Weekends in Gua Musang...
I can still remember it clearly...how happy i'm when its Friday and Saturday , LAST TIME...
Once i Step out to the community....Friday and Saturday will be the busiest day for me...lol have to teach >.> but i gt extra money..hehe..nice also....

And......nowaday i feel the tension of working >.> Have to find something to release my tension ady....i think dota is the best...maybe i'll try to play dota again...once i'm free after working =)

so...be aware..i'll be back..<--- Asta La Vista <------Terminator's ~ wakakak~

Useless Rubbish

Just now my friend told me her bf's going to break with her..
Okay , he's a rubbish..without hesitation.....Rubbish!!!!! this's the first time , i call people rubbish and i'm going to scold some rude word here....cause i really piss off , and i can't stand for this...

Before you get her love , how did you pursue her...you're such a son of the bitch...

1 month ++ ? then u said u wanna break.......Bastard!!!!

Whenever you said you're crying.....i felt the pain inside my heart...i knew...you're my best friend ever....i have a lot of best friend , and you're the one among all of them , about the boy....i don't want to say about you..you're such a rubbish in this community...o0o FUCK you.!!

Well , i hope that you'll recover soon ...and don't be sad...whenever you felt sad , just find me ...i'll be there whenever you need me~ cause we're best friend forever...~ and last time , you did that to me too~ so..i'll be the one who can listen to what you wanna say..

and my advice for you...don't ever trust him again...haiz...really...he's son of a bitch..there's no point for you to step inside a hole that will never end........+U+U
i'll support you no matter what's your decision...
Friends forever..

Best Regard ,
~End~

~Forum~

Last two day , suppose to be my rest day...
But , i used almost whole day , to cre8 a 90s forum...
What's 90s mean ? well , it mean 1990 , 1991 - 1999
That's not an easy job , i've to cre8 the forum by myself , but i used almost 5-6 houts just to set up everything ...finally I finish it!!!!!OUR 1st FORUM!!

Since we're the ealiest batch from 90s..hehe~
So i made up everything , it doesnt mean that , i'm busybody.~

But i just want to make a thing , that could wrap our friendship forever..
No Matter how far we are ， No matter whether all of you in Malaysia ? Singapore ? Taiwan ? Australia Etc....Once you have the internet , you can suft our forum , a place that full of love , caring ,and also friends...All of us , known since we're in kindergarten , Primary and secondary school , even some of you , transfer to another places since secondary school , but , our friendship never ended~ so..i decided to cre8 this forum.~ well , maybe few days / weeks later , i'll expose to publics ~ but we've to discuss about it first , and some of the admin really contribute much in the forum =)

And , Qi , i thought you won't bother about the forum , but i'm wrong~ at least you online and become the top poster...LMAO , but i'm not sure whether you spam anot..haha.~ anyway , whatever la , since you online , thats enough thx you~

Ya , someone said , friendship will not remain forever , but , i don't think so ... a friendship , sometimes , it will be last longer than LOVE....

So , nowaday , i will no longer feel lonely , i've a lot of friend , they can accompany me ~ and nowadays , i'm no longer online and wait for someone to online ..~~~~~

So , 90s +u , friendship last 4EveR!!!!

Best Regard
~KaeHow A.K.A Endofworld~

寻寻觅觅

寻寻觅觅，为了什么?!!
有的人，一直不停的寻觅，只为了找到自己心仪的对象...
而我，并没有去寻找过，或许，我...所遇到的，都不会有好的结果?。。
呵呵，为了什么，我还得去寻找呢?!一次又一次，伤心了又痊愈，痊愈了又伤心....
让我看清楚...原来是自己一直愚昧越陷越深?!!有句话说...当你越陷越深时，最终只会无法自拔...

呵呵，曾经...我把爱情看成是生命中不可或缺的一部分。。。然而现在...我不知道..那是对是错?!!也许，一次又一次的被拒绝，让我不再让自己陷入一段感情...有人说，是你缘分未到....呵呵...也许吧...我，并不想再去想这烦人的东西...

就算是让我再遇见心仪的对象，这份感情，也只会永远收藏在心里...决不泄漏..~~~

Think about it first

I don't know why , today , i think about so many things....I... started to worry about myself , ya , worry about my future , what am i going to be when i've grown up later?!!

I don't know .... In my mind , i hope that i could get myself a degree for education?Ya , that's what i think ...but ..if the local university,no doubt , that's definitely suck ...but if private...then it need a lot of money...Money ,that's not a simple question , since i know how valuable the money is and , how hard , for us to earn the money...and , some of them will ever say , we can earn back later...but , think from other way , will you able to earn it back ?!! is it a Guarantee ?!! well , that's no...and it really depend on yourself , whether u want it anot..and , if you really want , you have to work hard...and , don't forget...you have to work hard for what you want , or...you will never get it..

As we're young , we alway ask things from our parents , hundred++ sometimes thousand ++...but , think bout , do you ever think about it?!! how hard did our parents work for the RM1000??!!! that's not a little amount you know ?! And.what i heard from my boss , is really right...he said , whenever his daughter ask for something...then .he will answer her , you buy me one Rm100 thing , i'll buy you one RM500 thing....
so , do you get it?! ya , when we are young , we don't even know how to earn the money...but...we spent alot of money...

Money that we spent such as Tuition fees , school fees , uniform fees , food , computer , handphone ETC , and i think that from 1 year old until 19 years old , how much did us spend our parents money?!!! i think that's uncountable....Didnt it?!

So..once i step out and work , only i know how hard it is , just to earn money....do you think you can get 2-3k the 1st time you step out to this community?!!ya , you can , whenever you're dreaming , what you need , without hesitation , is experience...doesnt that?!

So....whenever you wanna ask something from your parents , think about it , and ask yourself , did you parents ever , ask something from you?!!! they never..so please be a filial son/daughter in order to disobey them ... They are your parents , and...All parents love their children ....there isnt any exception...

And , my future...that's really indistinct..i don't even know , where should i go next year , should i continue my job ?!! or go for what i want...Mayb , i'll retake my Muet and make it band4 or 5 , that's what i want...since i've improve so much...yeah! that's what i'm really proud of...working in TVR really help me improve my english well..and ....i really have to show respect to my boSS ( Alfred Koh) he's the one who really want to cultivate me , ya , the 1st time you met me , you told me like tat , u wanna cultivate me , and you really did it...even now , i'm not as good as you , but i'm really improving ...my english improve a lot within 2 months....really...and , i hope that , i can go further and further... and won't remain at the same point...that's what i really hope for~

Even now , i feel that ,there's just two choices for me , its really depend , all have to depend on how is it going Next year , after i get my stpm result.......but i hope , i can score a good result , mayb ..that's impossible.....but , will miracle appear?!! haha..maybe ?!! if i become more hardworking from now......

Last tribute to Mdm Ooi C M‏ (By Alfred Koh)

Dear all,



My sister in law passed away yesterday all of a sudden.

She was sent to Kuala Krai ICU, then KB specialist centre,

and finally ... gone.

We were sad and missed her so much. When coming

back from KB, we calmly told the children that

their beloved aunt is gone... they burst out crying...

My daughter showed me a handkerchief sew by her aunt

and between sobs, she said... "aunt said she wanted to teach me to sew.."

My nephew said, "I just helped her feed the bird this afternoon...."

A cloudy day....

She was so closed with us, caring for the children, good in tailoring

and gardening, and was temperate in her behaviour.

All of a sudden she has just gone away forever....


I always said life is destined, and fate is destined,

seeing many who pass away without leaving big impact

on me.

But this time it was so different.

I thought I could hold my tears, but when seeing her

lying down in the coffin, the last apperance was so

peaceful and gentle... but soon she would be sent

for cremation.... i burst out crying....


Life is short.

The purpose for us to live in the world is to love,

to share and to contribute. We are born into

our family, we have our own parents, children, relatives

and friends, this is a special 'arrangement'.

We should treasure it, value and appreciate

whatever we have. We will soon leave this world

too, then everything on earth, or anything belongs

to us... will have nothing to do with us anymore.


Therefore, we should be kind to the people

we know, we love and we care. We may think that we are

important, knowledgable, doing great job to the society...

but compared to the all mighty, we are just a petty dust....


May God or Buddha bless all . May our world become

more and more peaceful. May all those aggresive world

leaders change their crazy mind. May those criminals

have a sense of mercy... respect the life of others.


May all love and being loved, care and being cared for ...

May the religions make no boundary in basic humans' life... may

all understand this....


May God or Buddha bless the soul and spirit of Mdm Ooi C M.


regards,

Alfred

The difference between rich guy and poor guy..

Lol , thx you for fetching me this morning , yet giving me inspiration to write this blog , wakaka , you knew exactly who i'm talking about , don't angry then , wakaka , but that's what i experience , in your car?!Wakaka , don't say that i have many pattern , since this's the truth , just admit it =) didnt it?!! LMAO

Whenever police see poor people without license , no doubt , without hesitation , they will fine the hell out of you....but , whenever police see rich people , even you didnt bring your license , I/C , and don't even wear the seating belt =.=''???and the police will say , next time don't do it again and ask you go.....

Haha, that's really terrible , since "Malaysia Boleh" o0o Boleh?!! CAN??!! This country , DEFINITELY CANNOT!! STUPID ONE!!!...haha , and rich people @@ please....take good care of poor people like me ya =) wakaka

下定决心~

我，这一生，从没下定决心过....好的，坏的，我都是不能坚持的做完它，然而现在，我下定决心，决定踏出了我的第一步...
伤心??!!不开心...呵呵，或许，我会不甘心，然而，也许只是短暂的~我，已决定了，不管以后的路再如何的艰辛，我还是会走下去...我不想，当我以后回想起以前的事，才发觉，我错过了好多好多...这，是不值得的...19的我，很老吗???Oh My god!! Definitely NO!!!人生，是多么的短暂，与其，你时常想着，人生很苦，消极的生活下去，何不?!!采取积极的生活方式，做点有意义的事呢??!!与其时常说life's miserable...何不换句说法?!!!Life's full of hope , its just , do you get ready to receive whatever you deserve?!!!

或许,我们的一生,是被注定了,然而,与其,时常跟着别人的步伐,我们为何不,踏出第一步,让人家跟随着我们的步伐呢?!!或许这听起来很可笑，然而，我相信我做得到.....我才19岁，我的人生，或许才刚刚的开始..没错，中学生涯，的确很棒，我好怀念那时的生活，还记得那时，无忧无虑，自由自在的生活吗?!!哈哈，你们也许也忘不了吧~中四中五的那两年，充满了太多开心的回忆了...还记得天真的我们，一直都盼望着毕业的那一天，然而，毕业后，各分东西，才知道，以前的日子，才是最开心，最happy的...然而...时光一去不回头，我相信...我们，还是有机会相聚，然而那一天，或许我们都已，有了各自的事业~有人说，友情会随着时间渐渐变淡...这..是无稽之谈，对我而言，友情，永远都不会被时间冲淡，他不像爱情，它是很坚固的，当一群很久不见的“死党”聚在一起...他们无说不谈，感觉，又回来了，不是吗??!

说友情会随着时间而转淡的人..不好意思...得告诉你，你...到目前为止，还没遇到真正的知己/朋友.....你遇到的，只是你生命中的过客...我..很庆幸有了你们90年的一群朋友...不管我们生在何处，我也不会将你们忘了，然而...回来了GM,还是得找找我，吹吹水，只有跟你们一起的生活，我才找回了自己，一个最真，最会骂脏话的凯豪 =)那就是最真的我...然而，不是说我带着面具做人，而是，看什么人，说什么话，这是做人最基本的道理...Get it?!!

期待着8月的到来，我得去kepong shopping..买些漂亮的服装，慰劳自己 =)还有，八月你们就回来了，期待=) +U+U...!!!时光似箭，两个月?!!一眨眼，就过了 =)

虽然说中学生涯很棒，然而工作的日子，也可以一样的精彩...只是看你，是否enjoy the job?!!对我而言，我挺喜欢现在的工作...看着那群小孩开心的样子...那种满足感...是无法形容的...=)

Secret...

As i believe , everyone do have their own secret...same as mine....I , myself do have secret too.....

As what i heard from people last time , he said that , reveal youself to everyone , and then you'll get more friends ...errm , is it true ?!!! actually , i don't think so.... And what i think is...if you reveal yourself to everyone , you're making yourself in trouble...why i said so?!!! that's true !! you don't believe?!!..haha...

Lets think about it....how can you reveal yourself to a stranger whenever you don't even know who the heck is he/she?!!! is it safe? i don't think so >.> Well , you can reveal youself to the one that you believe in him/her and you trust that he/she will not expose the things to others , but ...not for anyone include the strangers!!!!That's too dangerous for you to reveal everything to someone who you don't know him >.< haha...doesnt that?!

And...I do have a secret too....but i'm not going to tell it here , since ... that's a secret..Well...but what i know is....i hope that , everyone will be happy and also , live without stress , anger , and so on..And...for the special one...i hope that she'll be happy forever and .. she'll get a nice result in her studies next year......+U...gambateh!

忙忙~

从早上10点就忙到了晚上11点...哈哈，挺忙的叻~
又用回了我熟悉的华文来写部落了，哈哈，当然啊..华文可是我们的母语.....
其实...突然之间我觉得我会写华文字，还挺幸运的，因为我发现...如果让你从新学习的话，华文字，不是那么容易...他不像英文，国语那样a-z罢了，而是，很多很多的笔画，形成一个华文字..呵呵~所以，不用用华文字来写部落，怎么行??哈哈...

哈哈，终于忙完了，可以轻松了，明天day off =) 星期日，现在才知道时间的重要性...哈哈，能有一天休息，是多好的一件事啊!!!嘻嘻~这....其实，我也好久没上来写部落了...也许，最近都没什么时间写，也或者，是不再向往以前写部落的日子吧...曾经的我，把自己的世界，关进了一个部落格里...认为自己永远都逃不出去...然而...经历了好多好多的事后，我发觉，其实那只是生命中必须经历的一部分....相比起其它的事情，也许那只是芝麻绿豆之事吧?!!然而...那也好，毕竟，我现在一直都在增值自己，接受不同的挑战..因为我知道，走的路太平坦的话，要是以后才遭遇挫折，应该打击很大吧..倒不如，现在就开始学习吃苦，哈哈...吃的苦中苦，方为人上人??!!..我这人...应该都没什么火气的吧..往往一些事，我都好像无所谓那样。。。哈哈，也许外表太斯文了>.>就算现在我告诉刚认识我的人我会粗话，也许他们很吃惊啦，哈哈，然而...讲到粗话>.> 我好久都没说了...哈哈!!这，好事来的~然而，跟朋友喝茶吹水，难免会有几句啦 =)

有人说，缘分很奇妙...当你一直都在寻找着另一半时，其实他已在你身边...也许..有些人的，是还没遇到对方吧~当你在爱情里，独自奋斗时，也许，你的真爱也在另一方独自奋斗，总有一天，当你们相遇时，那就是你们的缘分到了...这..说法...行得通吗???haha...其实我也觉得是那样吧 =)

Susan Boyla?!!!

Do you know who is she?!! she's a contestant in Britains Got Talent 2009..mayb you can search for it in youtube by typing her name...and she's a 47 years old woman..aww....

whenever she's standing on the stage , everyone dispise her..and even all of the audience laugh at her , and even the judger also feel unbelievable , whenever he asked her , what your dream ?!!! she answered , i try to be a professional singer.....

And...whenever she started to sing....aww..awesome!!! and.....
this's the first time , that , i feel touch.....i don't know why....maybe , all of u can have a try on this link..~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

Even all the people dispise her , but , she don't care......and at last even the judger stood up and clap for her.........

So...don't ever judge a book by its cover....

Finished One Movie.

Just finish one movie ... that's transformer 1..its a 2007 film i think ?!! and i didn't watch it yet , since the new transformer is now showing on the cinema....so i decided to watch the 1st part >.> And..thats a nice movie...really...no doubt..the fighting scene , and the ending , is far better than the "blood the last vampire"

Blood =.= the beginning and the middle part of the story is quite intersting...but , the ending ...=.= bad!!!!!!! Mayb the director don't know how should he end the movie ?!!!think so....

And...i hope that i could watch the new transformer , haha , can't wait for it...umm..maybe , i'll be going to KL next two week , then i can watch it...but,have to see whether i will go or not.....hehe , hope so....

and nowadays , i decided to watch one english movie per day , so i keep on downloading the movies from the internet , haha....maybe its illegal , but , whatever! >.<

Back In G.M

Hooray!!! i'm back , haha ....its really nice for me to stay in Kepong >.> and last 2 days , i attended the 'toastmaster' club meeting , aww .... that's really scary , haha , anyway , the way they delivered their speech is good...and my mentor , Alfred Koh , As a language Evaluation ...umm , something like that , he really did that perfectly...haha , i hope that i could be like him one day later too @@?? who's know? haha...mayb i'll ...whenever i'm dreaming >.>

Well , back to the topic ,i love the place as well , the scenery there...is really beautiful....aww.. but unfortunately , i can't take the picture of the scenery there cause whenever i wanted to take it , its already dark =.='' anyway , next time , i'll take it..haha ...

And .... i don't know when will i deliver my speech...but , i think i really have to prepare for it , because....i felt nervous to speak in front of so many people and most of them can speak english fluently...well , that's why i join toastmaster , i want to improve my speaking and english as well , and the most important thing is , i want to remove my fearness whenever i speak in front of crowd...that's the point that i join toastmaster! and i believe that's a right choice for me and no doubt i'll work harder to become the best speaker =) haha!!! (dreaming?!!)

welll....along the way back Gua Musang , we even play a game....thats we simply give a word a phrase and an object and , we'll talk about that thing for bout 1minute....haha ,that's really interesting ...and it really help when you want to present something....because it need a lot of imagination whenever people give you something and call you to talk abotu the thing....haha...and , i'm the worst among 3 of us as well =.= anyway , next time will be better...haha...

Kepong.....

Today is Saturday , and i have to travel to KL at bout 10pm ...Aww...that's tiring...
seem like...i have to travel every weekend >.>

But what to do ?!! since i like the life in KL , i enjoyed it everytime i'd been there...so , whenever my boss asked me to go with him , i'll never reject..~and for sure , Kepong ...is such a nice place ...and i really love the place...haha ....

If and only if i have the chance to continue my career there , maybe i'll consider about it.....and Toastmaster .....on monday's evening , is around the corner , haha ....i can't wait for it !! i hope i can listen to mnay speeches that delivered by those toastmaster =) haha..

And , i don't know whether trip will be a nice trip or a trip that full with busyness?!! since my boss has to conduct a course for those teacher ...and...maybe me will join together?!!! haha...i don't know yet....

Hehe....

And today , i found that those children are damn moody...=.='' they do whatever they like , and whenever they're not happy with it , they'll just ignore it....haiz..what to do?!! they are children .........

Busying

These few days were really busy , tomorrow have to travel to Kepong again by 10pm bus , after work >.> what to do , but i like it...haha , maybe , i can go to observe and learn something from the toastmaster @@?! haha...hope he'll bring along me ...think so? maybe he will , haha...

As for me , i want to finish my job , as quick as possible , i don't like to delay my work...but , i always help them to finish their work till 10.45 and even today 11.45 =.='' what to do.. lol....at least i enjoy to stay wif my colleague...

And , nowadays whenever my friends discuss something about the games , i'm no longer interested in it anymore...haha , don't know why ...Mayb i have no longer had time for Dotaing anymore , anyway , whatever...i don't mind >.> since dotaing's really wasting my time =) haha..

Looking forward for the trip to Kepong tomorrow and i hope that i will not be scolded by my boss @@

The Big challege...

Well , as the title , its really a big challenge for me , since My boss will be going to KL , and he asked me to replace his PMR class.
My 1st reaction was like , MR koh ?! ARE YOU JOKING WITH ME?!!! well , he said no...and after he guided me what to do >.> he left =.=

i was like....what the hell!!???well , the 1st time for me to stand in front of the student , and taught them , was the PMR class ?!!! can u imagine that ? i'm just 19 years old , and i'd to teach those students just younger than me like 3-4 years old?!That's scary =.=haha...anyway,at the beginning , i'm very nervous , but , i got use to it after sometimes...and , mayb let me try somemore times later , i'll be better and better for sure!!

Well , i'm not doing it as perfect as a teacher that full with confident , but ,inside my mind , i knew it , i will be better next time...since this is the 1st time i replace my boss , i was doing such a great job , i'd no longer have any problem in speaking english...and yeah , there's still have something that i want to improve , that's to improve my vocabulary's powers , since i can speak quite fluent nowadays , what i need is to empower my vocabulary ... sometime , i wanted to express something , but i don't even know the word . so...how could i speak it out?!

Anyway ,thank you for giving me such an opportunity to teach the students , even though , i don't know 1-2 words from the passage and i can't explain to the students...but that's nevermind , i'll admit it , and asked them to forgive me ...since i don't even have time to prepare for teaching materials , and as well to understand everything before i teach...but overall , i'm doing a great job =)

even i ask for comment from those students...i'm so happy to hear from one of them even said that...that's just one word to describe...Excellent! oh , that's really raise my confidence...thx you anyway ...and yeah , and some of them said that i'm good .... but . i told them , well , i'm not good as well and i'm bad ...BUT , i'm not as worse as some of those school's teachers!haha...

this's a good course that you even give me , well , the level 1 and level 2 course is also giving me a lot of information on how to teach , but ..this real life experience did teach me more than that..and i found that , whenever i stayed inside the class ....i can speak very fluent english , and mayb ...that's not 100% fluent..but i can sure that ....that's at least 80% ...haha!!

And from the phone call , u can even joke with that , i owe you the course's fee?!! haha...and call me to buy you a meal...well that's ok ... since this course , i earned about RM80...haha!!!

Grow~

I had learned a lot of thing / knowledge from the trip to Kepong..

I like to stay with Ernie and also Mr Koh , Mayb because of their joke ?!! well...No need take it seriously , since that's just a joke , laugh and forget , that's all....

And , i felt much more better than before , seem like i'd become another person?! is it ?! haha , don't think so...i'm still KaeHow , what i'd changed,is about i'd concern about my future , no longer take love seriously , since i'm still young ...as a teenager , enjoy your life first...don't take everything seriously....beside , study....

And yeah..thing comes around and goes around .....somebody said that , the one that appreciate your love , will never hurt you badly....yeah...i did agree.....

No one to blame with , the past , what i'd done , its all past....and no matter how pain i feel , that's all past! ...No longer exist in my future , i'm looking forward for a bright future , doesn't it ?!!

As what simon soh said during the toastmaster's meeting.....whenever you see something on the floor,even its just 5 cent , grab it up , and said thx you ...thk you universe for giving me this .........and yeah....Universe do prepare everything for us....chance , whatever...its just , do you ready to receive it ?!!! once you're ready...then you'll get it.......As a human being , we do have many choice , we can choose when do we want to go for a trip , don't want to travel ...But , as for animal , they do Not have...

Love , is no longer the most important thing for me..have anot , it doesnt matter ,thats all .... i know that , i learnt many general knowledge and i get many thing from the trip , the one that i have to thank , is just a person , that's my boss ....giving me a great inspiration , to take the challenge for everything...that's why , i'll take any challenge to improve myself , and make myself become a better man .....as for him , that's like，我也需潜在着很好的潜能，只是还没被释放出来...然而，遇上了伯乐...呵呵...and yeah , i hope that , its really a right choice for me ....And i'd seen you how you deliver your speech...and...that's awesome!!lol...even the way you communicate with us and the way you deliver your speech is totally different....and you still say that you wanna to polish your english?!!lol...well as for me , your english is far better than many people in Gua Musang?!!lol.i think so.. haha!!!...but anyway , i did learn from you , the way ...how you keep on improving yourself!!!!haha....so i'm now keep on improving myself too...and i hope that , i can speak fluent english,no longer broken english , with bombastic word next year @@?! if can....haha..hope so ...since Mr Ernie's english is sooooooooooooo good..... and i've two english teacher, haha....

i'll be giving my first speech maybe next month....i hope so?!! since next week i'll not going to kepong........and.i want to boost my confidence,toastmaster,will be a right choice for me...everyone told me like that~ but...can i make it ?! since they are all professional person..and i'm just a 19 years old kids?!!=.=''lol...and what a surprise ?!! once i came back from Kepong,i'd the desire to study ...and decided to do revision with Ernie , every morning at 8am-12pm...Haha..that's good!!!

As for love ...no matter i had anot , is no longer important for me......Be happy and i hope this blog will be giving those sad people a great inspiration too...Don't ever take love seriously tho...there're many other things beside love..you won't die without love...but , you can't even survive without buiding up your career.....

Great trips...awesome!!!

That's great..eventhough we didn't spend much money, but we enjoyed max...
haha....playing in the hotel , also great , didnt it ?!!!..haha....

so as what i said , going out trip with friends will always be the best choice =)
I love KL , and bcked juz now...tomorrow have to go to Kepong again ....hehe....really tired....but i still have to go...cause KL...i love the place , and.....i don't need to think too much whenever i'm there.....

Last time , whenever i thought about her , i felt pain in my heart...and now....whenever i think about here....i smile happily ....cause i know ,爱，可以是关心，关怀，可以是一切；也可以是放开....既然她对我没感觉，我不该再苦苦的追求...我不会再去强求.....也不想破坏我和她只剩下的那一点点友情．．．．．就算她现在有了男朋友，我不会伤心...反而我会祝福她，真心的祝福...因为，只要她过得比我好，我就开心了=)

我以后的一切，就让命运来决定吧....毕竟，现在都是enjoy lifes..........

拜五...

这星期五又要到了，很兴奋啊.......
想约齐和诗融来meet =)

嘻嘻...可以的话，跟我一起过夜咯，哈哈，爽啊....

来切磋，winning eleven =) (足球游戏)hehe......我的最爱哦 =)

umm..希望齐可以请假咯，很久没看到你了，还有你的新发型=)

你能分清楚爱和喜欢吗？

我很喜欢这个...真的很对，很对...

喜歡和愛咫尺千里。

當你喜歡一個人時，你想和他在一起，因為他會帶給你快樂；

離開後，你會想念，想著想著就會笑，然後繼續你平靜的生活，並期待著與他再一次重逢。

當你愛一個人時，你想和他在一起，那是一種牽腸掛肚的捨不得，怕他受委屈，怕他不能好好照顧自己；

離開後，你也會想念，想著想著歎一口氣，'不知他現在過的怎樣？'

然後你繼續你平靜的生活，希望他早日回到你身邊。

你喜歡的人在你眼中是天使，無所不能，他總會滿足你的任性的要求。

你愛的人在你眼中是孩子，傻傻的，你不期望他做出什麼'好事'來，只一味縱容他那些讓人哭笑不得的舉動。

你會希望你喜歡的人陪著你，然而你心中想的可能是你愛的人；

你會希望陪在你愛的人身邊，看他在你面前睡得如此安逸甜美毫不設防的樣子，你會微笑，會覺得好幸福。

你喜歡的人傷害了你，你會生氣，並且一定要讓他哄著騙著逗你笑你才原諒他；

你愛的人傷害了你，你只會獨自傷心，因為你怕對他大吼大叫會嚇著他，你憂傷地微笑著，看著他的眼睛，

一旦發現他的眼裡流露出歉意和悔恨，你會立即心疼地摟他在懷裡，那一刻，你也是幸福的。

你可以同時喜歡很多人，你會希望和很多人在一起，


但也許很多年後你才發現，原來你愛的就只有那麼一個，

就那麼一個，怎麼都不會變，你以為把他忘記了，其實只是忙的沒空想起而已，

對於你喜歡的人，你關注的是他的優點；

對於你愛的人，你關注的是他的缺點，並且，那些缺點如果無關原則的話，它們在你眼裡是可愛的，獨一無二的。

喜歡和愛其實只有一紙之隔，任何愛都從喜歡開始，當有天你突然發現，你喜歡的那個人在你眼中不再完美，

而他的瑕疵正如月中的桂影一般讓你更加依依不捨，你會覺得與他光彩照人的一面相比，

你更願意看他在你面前無助的表情，不知道是不是應該祝賀你，總之，你的感情昇華了


仰慕不是愛，甚至不是喜歡，當你對一個人只有仰慕之情時，你們在一起便失去了和諧。

有人說愛一個人很累，的確是，因為你想為他承擔，可是愛與喜歡相比最大的魅力就在於，

當你和愛的人在一起時，你的感覺就像回家了！

90s' T shirt !!!

haha...决定了，今晚讨论，关于我们90s年代的T shirt....我要设计到很美，很久纪念价值的，毕竟，我们真得很需要，有个纪念价值的，东西，哈哈！！！

我要两件 =) 一件Endofworld , 一件KaeHow...nice max!!!

Can't wait for it....这次不能只说不做，光说不练=.=哈哈，以前最会的，现在要讲到做到！！要的，Rm30 come...haha for one shirt =) budget la...rm30 mayb cheaper de~

改变~

下星期五又得去KL,有得玩，当然开心啊~以前，我哪里都不喜欢去的，然而现在...我哪里都想去玩~

也许，我发觉了，其实人生真的很短暂，与其伤心的过日子，倒不如开开心心的过。
其实我现在最期待的，就是明年可以和一群朋友去PulaU Redang , 当然，我希望人数有20++ 啦，哈哈，但是，我们90s的这一群有吗？应该有吧~呵呵...

还有想设计一件衣服给我们90s年代的，wakaka...后面放上自己的大名，当然我最想放的一定是
Endofworld a.k.a KaeHow , 但是很长叻!!!!都是 Endofworld算了，嘻嘻，我是世界末日提倡者 =)

其实，我们这一群 90s的，是最纯洁，最好的一群，我觉得啦，哈哈！但是有些Small People （小人）时常说我们是烂苹果...NAH!!! 你们知道我们多少??听到粗口就是烂苹果吗??!! NO!!! 而且现在我们的粗口可是越来越少了...你们....真是没事找事做...lol.!

现在我只想好好享受生活...enjoy life though =) the life is great.....
哈哈，朋友啊朋友，damn nice ah...

下星期去KL,不知道依雯要不要来呢@@ 如果有的话，叫买她的同学，我又可以结交多点朋友了...嘻嘻...其实我跟她，只见过一次面 =.= 而且是三年前，哈哈!!!!!!

呵呵~

补习取消了..嘻嘻...还好...

今天又可以去练车 + 打球 =)

开心哦...睡在地板，真得很不舒服...但是，没办法啦，哈哈...再忍忍吧...
我可以的...+U 不知道，你过得怎样呢....一定要好过我 =) 健康过我咯...呵呵，那是一定的....

今晚，也许会出去喝茶...希望咯 =) 哈哈，肥鱼做driver吗? ahahaha.....等我学会驾车了，再做回你的driver啦 >.> 说到做到的...嘻...

enjoy the time that i pass with all my friends,that's great.....

errm...Scoliosis.....go away from me ah >.> ...zzzz ......keep on sleeping on the floor ( hard surface ) damn suffer de , but..what to do lar >.> i had to...even i don't want to.anyway,be happy with it , hehe....its not as uncomfortable as everyone though >.>

自问自答

我A：“你到底喜不喜欢她？”

我B：“喜欢，非常喜欢。她那么漂亮，人又那么纯真，对我有那么的好。我怎么能够不动心？我喜欢她简直喜欢到了近乎疯狂的地步！我快要失去理智了！”

我A：“可是，你那么喜欢她，为什么迟迟不肯追她呢？你还在等什么？”

我B：“这。。。就，喜欢还喜欢，迷恋还迷恋；能不能拥有就是完全另一回事了。就在我难得还能保持冷静的那一丁点意识中告诉我的。”

我A：“喜欢就敢敢去啦，你明知道她也喜欢你啊，她都暗示得那么明显了，你还等什么？”

我B：“拿一件衣服来讲好了，虽然我不是很喜欢买衣服。就。。。比如，你在一间店里面，看到一件你很喜欢的衣服，哇那个设计，那个质感，那个感觉，简直是 perfect！你很喜欢那件衣服，你不愿意那件衣服受到任何伤害，如果有人想要污染那件衣服，你会跟他死过。你每天经过那一间店，都会偷偷地在一边偷看那件衣服。真的太美了，太好了，你真的好喜欢那件衣服。可是，你自己知道，那件衣服你是肯定穿不下的。因为第一，那衣服不适合你。二，你需要通过很大的努力来把自己完全整形才可以fit进去那件衣服，但终究还是不适合的。那么，你应该怎么办？难道为了自己疯狂喜欢的感觉而把她买回去？你明知道自己不适合，难道还是坚持要买回去吗？那么，这样对那件衣服公平吗？她摆在那儿，或许有一天会有更适合她的人可以拥有她。你为什么要这么自私？”

我A：“难道你要失去了才后悔终生？难道你要看到她跟别一个男生一起了才自己独自伤心？”

我B：“那也没办法。看到别人拥有她，我肯定会伤心到很惨，我会很。。。沮丧。但是，你不可以那么自私的。为了自己的私欲，而且明知道她跟你一起就根本不适合，而剥夺人家未来可能获得的幸福。况且她是这么的完美，要遇到更好的买家是很容易的。无谓阻着人家啦。对吗？”

甲洞之旅~

让我学了好多好多，得感谢的，就只有一个人，就是我的老板...lol...
免费给我上了个course >.>他或许想要我帮他教书吧..只是，我已决定了，要用工读书.....当然，工作，我也会用工去做.....这一躺，让我学会了很多东西...跟他们两个相处，也真的很开心，一个19岁的，跟28/40岁的人一起，但是我们都好像是朋友那样，有说有笑...哈哈...开心咯....
lol...他最喜欢的就是“锄第”~哈哈！

今天，让我看到了，原来人的忍耐性真的有限...到了不可控制的地步就会爆发...然而...也让我看到了，一个老板，对下属的关心....呵呵...他真的是个很不错的老板咯~只是，很佩服，生气完了，他又回到了老样子，哈哈....这三天，都过得很充实，很开心....

在我住的地方，真方便，走路五分钟就去到了jusco...可以看电影，而我们每次都11pm去看得，哈哈.....爽叻~期待下次再去>.>

而我，也买了些手信送给你...我不知道要送你什么...因为上次我送你的衣，好像都没看过你穿，呵呵..所以这次我买了点吃的给你...希望你会喜欢=)
>.<

Debate....辩论..

之前他们在那里辩论，好好玩哦...
哈哈，我也想参进去的，但是在工作，还好，我还可以进班听他们辩论，哈哈！！

挺好玩的...ummm他们的英文还挺不错的..但是，我觉得我进去辨的话一定赢的啦~哈哈哈！毕竟他们才15岁，最小11，哈哈...古老师的女儿咯...厉害~哈哈！

不错不错...希望下次他们再辩论，我又进去听咯，哈哈哈！！！=)

向未来慢慢前进

呵呵~第一件事~得raise my salary...and first thing first to do is to buy my own second
hand car...haha.....mayb someone will look down me...whenever i drive a second hand one....
But i don't think so...i'm proud of myself...why ??!!! because i use my own money and buy my own car =) hehe....i'll work hard and save money from now....gambateh.....i told my father i wanna buy a new motor...he told me...dun crazy..a motor cost 4k and a second hand car oso cost 4k wat?!! why dun u buy car? haha...thats it =)bside that..i know that i still have many thing have to do~and.....something like....??!!!!


hope that later i can get my 1st car lor....umm...mayb can...may be not....but...i still have to work hard...haha~ to get it.....and after i get my own car...everything will be fine...i believe =) +u endofworld....you're the best...

trust yourself and you can do it.....gambateh...stpm is around the corner...i feel it...and i hope i can really cheer up and please....concentrate MAX to STPM....i need to cheer myself up tho ....+U+U

一则感人的故事~

那在一次兩人共進晚餐的夜晚

女孩跟男孩提出分手的要求..

男孩起先楞了一下．然後默默的接受了....

女孩說我們還是好朋友

男孩說:恩~對呀~只要你有任何困難我一定會幫你的..

然後像平時一樣傻笑..就這樣..平靜的吃完他們的最後一次晚餐

之後男孩還是每天打電話給女孩..

問他過的怎樣?

回到家了嗎?

吃飽了嗎?

女孩雖然覺得奇怪但也沒問．理所當然的接受男孩的關心

直到那女孩在一次遷怒的情況下對那男孩說:那跟你沒關係!!

男孩淡淡的說:抱歉~打擾了

原來那女孩和他現在的男友吵架了．可憐的男孩成了出氣筒..

隔了一天女孩就沒接到男孩的電話了

女孩覺得奇怪..但也沒多想..

又過了幾天男孩還是都沒有打給女孩

女孩心想:搞甚麼?才念他兩句就給我耍脾氣真是的

算了~到底是我理虧我打給他好了.順便．告訴他男生別這麼小氣~~

女孩打了半天沒人接就算了還暫停使用勒~

女孩開始覺得奇怪了....

跑到男孩的公司找男孩．但是男孩的同事說那個男孩早就離職了

男孩的老闆是男孩的好朋友於是..那個女孩就問他那男孩去了哪呢?

他老闆說:我不知道我也在找他呀!?

女孩不死心.打電話去男孩家.男孩的家人說男孩出國了

女孩心想奇怪了

男孩的家境並不富裕怎麼可能讓他出國呢?(事實上男孩的家境也是女孩跟他分手的原因之一吧)

再說他要出國就算沒告訴我...他的朋友也都該知道吧?真奇怪????

滿心懷疑的她帶著滿心的疑問回到家中...

突然發現它的信箱裡有一封信!

她打開來看...是男孩寫的信..

這下她確定男孩的確離開台南了..只是沒有說去了哪?

可惡的豬頭~~走也不會說一聲~~

從此以後雖然女孩沒再見過男孩...但是總會定期的收到男孩的信

特別是重要的日子..如女孩的生日時他會祝她生日快樂並附帶禮物..情人節時也不忘祝她幸福..和鮮花聖誕節更是不用說..就連女孩考大學都會收到他鼓勵的卡片

所以雖然女孩已經很久沒見過男孩了但是還都能感受男孩的關懷..只是女孩發現男孩寄給她的信幾乎都是沒有寄信住址的~要不然就是轉寄的~真是怪了??

彷彿是友人直接把信放在信箱的??..

而且也不曉的為甚麼男孩的朋友們都變的對女孩特別好?

不但生日有禮物還會邀女孩一起出去玩....更甚的只要是男孩的朋友而她是女生的話還會主動邀女孩去逛街.聊天.講電話噓寒問暖等等..

關懷的舉動...令女孩覺得奇怪但時間一久了女孩也習慣了..

那段日子....她覺得好快樂好幸福..直到..女孩有一天發現男孩很久沒有寄信給他了..她覺得奇怪..但想說算了可能最近男孩比較忙吧?

但是一個星期過去了女孩還是沒有收到半封信...

她開始慌了..她不知道她為何會慌..只知道她想看男孩的信...

兩年了男孩總是會寫信給女孩...特別是在特別的日子裡總有男孩從遠方捎來暖暖的祝福..陪他繼續走下去..雖然女孩沒辦法回信..

但是這已經是女孩生活的一部份如今突然間消失了女孩突然發現好像少了一個依靠..女孩開始四處打聽男孩的下落..

到以前男孩常去的咖啡廳.茶店.書店.網咖.一坐.一待就是一整天...
只希望能看到男孩...但是都沒有...
男孩好像就從世上蒸發了..
她抱著最後的希望到了男孩的好朋友的公司...
問男孩的朋友及同事男孩的下落..

男孩的同事中有個女生叫的茹琳被女孩一問竟然哭了..
女孩問茹琳妳怎麼了?

男孩的老闆說:喂~~拿去打給這個人吧!!妳就知道他去那了...
女孩一看是一張有手機號碼的便條紙.
女孩很開心..心想:總算被我找到了吧!!
女孩打了手機...:喂~~~?

手機那端傳來的是一個男生的聲音.
雖然女孩已經快2年沒見過男孩了.但是她確定電話裡的人不是男孩

女孩說:請問.....
對方還沒聽女孩講完就說:喔..我知道你是誰了...
妳找我哥哥的吧?我等妳很久了...
你現在有時間嗎?方便出來嗎?我們約個地方祥談吧...
妳就會明白的...

女孩一頭霧水的來到和男孩的弟弟約定的地方
女孩一看就知道他的確是男孩的弟弟
因為的確蠻像的...

女孩迫不及待的問:妳哥哥呢?

男孩的弟弟沒說話只是靜靜的從手提袋裡拿出一封信...
遞給女孩...

抱歉..其實這封信前幾天就該拿給妳了只是我不知道
我應該怎麼拿給妳所以才拖到今天....

原來這兩年的信都是你寫給我的?!!女孩驚訝的問...

不不不不!!我只是代我哥哥交給妳罷了..

幹嘛那麼麻煩呀?真是的?故作神秘..

女孩雖然嘴中念念有詞但是還是難掩臉上的興奮....

打開了信....

嗨~~~ 穗 妳最近過的好嗎?

天氣開始轉涼了唷~自己小心身體唷?書讀的如何呢?別太貪玩了知道嗎?

呵呵~把你說的像小孩子一樣..抱歉抱歉..

只是..我真的放心不下妳妳總是這麼需要人.關心.保護

不過妳放心我已經交代我的死黨們要好好照顧妳了...

因為在妳看這封信的時候我早就到了一個很遠的地方了....

我沒辦法在繼續照顧妳了..但我真的放心不下妳

所以我用了這個辦法來陪妳度過接下來的日子....

希望妳不要介意...但是這很可能是我的最後一封信了

因為我的時間到了....

很抱歉我真的不是不想見妳..

只是我不願意讓你看到我現在的樣子..

更不希望因為我而讓妳傷心難過...

我希望妳開開心心的..這是我最大的願望呀..而且也快聯考了呀

如果因為我害妳沒考上我大概沒辦法原諒自己

因為這是我的最後要求...

算一算大概有200多封吧?呵呵~希望妳不會嫌太囉唆~~

我雖然快離開了...但是我沒有後悔跟妳在一起過..

跟妳在一起的日子我很開心.....雖然...

妳最後不是選擇我...但這樣也好不然我真的不知道怎麼跟妳提分手

因為我不想連累妳...畢竟這樣的我是不可能給妳幸福的.跟妳分手

後我的身體越來越差!!到了醫院檢查...

醫生告訴我我只有3個月的壽命了...還好妳提早跟我分手了...

不然...呵呵~~~妳果然冰雪聰明.....

所以我將日子算一算照著年歷寫了200多封的信在叫我弟弟幫我依照

日期寄給妳..就好像我還在妳身邊陪著妳一樣..

算算2年了吧?我想妳對我的感覺也比較淡了吧?

應該比較能接受這個事實了吧??

所以我在這時候寫最後一封信

再說我也沒辦法再寫了...

希望妳原諒....我不知道這樣對妳的影響會不會很大...

如果會..抱歉這次我沒辦法安慰妳了....

我只想告訴你我愛妳..我恨不得能一輩子照顧妳...就算最後妳跟另一個

男子攜手走向紅毯的另一端我也希望能繼續當妳的朋友.....

但我能嗎?我不能因為上天給我的時間到了...

雖然短促但是我覺得並不後悔...我的人生是完整的...

就像我們的戀情雖然短暫..但是我覺得值得了...

謝謝妳陪我談我今生的第一段戀愛..

如果時間能從來我不會去追妳...不會愛上妳..

過去能從來嗎?不能..所以我還是傷了妳....

如果明天的付出..等待...能讓妳我長相廝守我一定去做...

但我有明天嗎?沒有..所以我還是會離開妳..

如果現在我能無牽無掛的離開人間就表示我已經不再愛妳..不再在乎妳...

但我眼角的眼淚已經告訴我我放不下妳..

所以是的我.愛.妳......

不要為我哭因為愛過妳我很幸福...

割斷一段因緣很簡單...只要忘記思念的方法就可以了

所以忘了我吧....

愛妳的奈落NERON 2001/9/21 奇美醫院

女孩看著信上的時間是他們分手的一個月後....

也是她跟他說:這跟妳沒關係的隔天......

那天天氣轉涼了....秋天到了

那晚在台南的3皇3家門口 一個女孩抱著一封信

痛哭失聲.....