Haiz...

Why should i suffer like this....
If there's a shoulder for me to cry...i will
If there's someone who will to listen to me ... i hope so...

I know that....i can't tell my problem to anyone....
No one could ever help me..
But i'll affect them to be unhappy too...
Now i realise...keep your unhappy memory...is better than split it out...
That's why....i have chosen to write the blog...blogging...can help me to release everything un happy...

Now ...i really feel like want to cry..i don''t know why...maybe i realise something...somethin that i could never forget

What else can i do?i don't know...

Expected too much?!!

Well , i expected too much for myself...i thought i'm good but actually i'm not...Haiz...

I can't even handle the kids..i felt...sad...upset / disastrous....once again...i'm struggling...Haiz...i thought that , when i be good with them , they will like me...
But i'm totally wrong..if i'm too good to them..they'll no longer respect you as a teacher....What else can i do...Haiz..i donnoe..

I have to change...i've to find a solution for this...And..i dun wan to feel sorry to anyone..Haiz..My..i've expected too much for myself...maybe...i don't know what can i do anymore....

I ask myself...am i a good teacher?!!
Inside my heart..i'll say no...for now...

But next time...i hope i'll be....

Unhappy day...

Today...i'm so unhappy.....it doesnt matter wif the love issue....but..i think i have to ....change my mind......maybe..i'm not the best?! and i'm not a good teacher as well...

My intention...is very simple..i want to be a good teacher , and i hope that everyone can get the knowledge from me......I love teaching ...i enjoy , and i hope i can educate more people..ya...the paid is good...but it doesnt matter for me...if i can't teach them anything..i rather quit......

What i want , is ....i hope that , everyone enjoy my class...they won't show their sour face to me...But...I'm wrong....am i doing the things wrongly?! i dunnoe...Maybe ..i cannot read the child's mind....i don't know what are they thinking...they are so moody.....but..i hope they laugh , they feel happy to join my classs...but today..i'm wrong..i don't even know what happen to him?! keep on showing me his sour face...and cry in my class...what happen? i dont know...maybe..he's jealous when i teach another people things...and he's jealous for something else?i'm not sure....i felt very upset...now i know..its not an easy job...
so...i asked them...Do you like me?! if no....i'll ask them to change your teacher...Maybe , i'm not a good teacher....but if you to change...its ok for me......They said dun wan......i dunnoe what can i do...i hope next time..i'll become better and better...i love this job..and i enjoy it...and...i felt appreciate to my boss...he's the one who trust and give me an opportunity in this......So...you're the one i respect a lot.....Thank you!

As for the students...i'll change myself...and become better and better....for sure..i'll keep on improving myself and won't maintain at the same point forever....
And i hope..next time..i'll become a good and humurous teacher......so..everyone...will enjoy my class..and they show respect to me...that's wat i want......looking forward for it...i'll try best and DO MY BEST TO ACHIEVE MY AIM!!!!!!!

GAMBATEH KAEHOW........

best regard~
KaeHow

Back from KB..

2 days...stayed in Kb , attending the course...that's a nice course...
i did learn many things there...Ya....I learnt a lot....Regarding how to teach ,and...all of the teacher were older than me , and i'm the youngest among all of them...

Muet result's release...And i didnt feel upset , even that's a pity Band 2 ...Haha...ya BAND 2...i didnt feel upset at all..cause i know when the time i took Muet , my english was not as good as now...and i have confidence that , if next year i retake the muet...i'll make it better...i'm looking forward for band 4/5....If possible...Cause.i've been preparing since last 2 months....haha..maybe that's not a preparation ..but , once i'm working , i use english all the time , i speak , and i learn a lot of new vocabulary....it doesnt mean that english is hard....depend , whether you ..want to learn ? or not...if you want , that's as easy as ABC...
Its because i'm interesting in these kind of language , so ...i can catch up very fast...but , i'll give up if u wan me to take those science or mathematic...lol..really cannot make it....

Anyway , the course , good , i enjoy myself , even though ...i'm the only "teenager" and BOY!! other than me , all are Women =.='' how could i survive ?! but i did it...
that's who i am.....that's a big challenge for me ...but do remember ..i'm the one,who like to accept the challege.....i've prepared very well , and i hope that i could deliver my 1st speech in toastmaster....as soon as possible...

there's one story regarding myself...which's very impressive...even if i'm training....i cannot make it...and feel like wanna cry...but...i'm not going to make it...in my 1st speech..maybe , i'll share the experience....in teaching.....in my 1st speech... =)

next week will be 21st july.....haha.....my birthday....looking forward to celebrate with my friends.~ but...will they able to remember my birthday?!! hehe.....

Friday / Saturday

Friday and Saturday....Weekends in Gua Musang...
I can still remember it clearly...how happy i'm when its Friday and Saturday , LAST TIME...
Once i Step out to the community....Friday and Saturday will be the busiest day for me...lol have to teach >.> but i gt extra money..hehe..nice also....

And......nowaday i feel the tension of working >.> Have to find something to release my tension ady....i think dota is the best...maybe i'll try to play dota again...once i'm free after working =)

so...be aware..i'll be back..<--- Asta La Vista <------Terminator's ~ wakakak~

Useless Rubbish

Just now my friend told me her bf's going to break with her..
Okay , he's a rubbish..without hesitation.....Rubbish!!!!! this's the first time , i call people rubbish and i'm going to scold some rude word here....cause i really piss off , and i can't stand for this...

Before you get her love , how did you pursue her...you're such a son of the bitch...

1 month ++ ? then u said u wanna break.......Bastard!!!!

Whenever you said you're crying.....i felt the pain inside my heart...i knew...you're my best friend ever....i have a lot of best friend , and you're the one among all of them , about the boy....i don't want to say about you..you're such a rubbish in this community...o0o FUCK you.!!

Well , i hope that you'll recover soon ...and don't be sad...whenever you felt sad , just find me ...i'll be there whenever you need me~ cause we're best friend forever...~ and last time , you did that to me too~ so..i'll be the one who can listen to what you wanna say..

and my advice for you...don't ever trust him again...haiz...really...he's son of a bitch..there's no point for you to step inside a hole that will never end........+U+U
i'll support you no matter what's your decision...
Friends forever..

Best Regard ,
~End~

~Forum~

Last two day , suppose to be my rest day...
But , i used almost whole day , to cre8 a 90s forum...
What's 90s mean ? well , it mean 1990 , 1991 - 1999
That's not an easy job , i've to cre8 the forum by myself , but i used almost 5-6 houts just to set up everything ...finally I finish it!!!!!OUR 1st FORUM!!

Since we're the ealiest batch from 90s..hehe~
So i made up everything , it doesnt mean that , i'm busybody.~

But i just want to make a thing , that could wrap our friendship forever..
No Matter how far we are ， No matter whether all of you in Malaysia ? Singapore ? Taiwan ? Australia Etc....Once you have the internet , you can suft our forum , a place that full of love , caring ,and also friends...All of us , known since we're in kindergarten , Primary and secondary school , even some of you , transfer to another places since secondary school , but , our friendship never ended~ so..i decided to cre8 this forum.~ well , maybe few days / weeks later , i'll expose to publics ~ but we've to discuss about it first , and some of the admin really contribute much in the forum =)

And , Qi , i thought you won't bother about the forum , but i'm wrong~ at least you online and become the top poster...LMAO , but i'm not sure whether you spam anot..haha.~ anyway , whatever la , since you online , thats enough thx you~

Ya , someone said , friendship will not remain forever , but , i don't think so ... a friendship , sometimes , it will be last longer than LOVE....

So , nowaday , i will no longer feel lonely , i've a lot of friend , they can accompany me ~ and nowadays , i'm no longer online and wait for someone to online ..~~~~~

So , 90s +u , friendship last 4EveR!!!!

Best Regard
~KaeHow A.K.A Endofworld~

寻寻觅觅

寻寻觅觅，为了什么?!!
有的人，一直不停的寻觅，只为了找到自己心仪的对象...
而我，并没有去寻找过，或许，我...所遇到的，都不会有好的结果?。。
呵呵，为了什么，我还得去寻找呢?!一次又一次，伤心了又痊愈，痊愈了又伤心....
让我看清楚...原来是自己一直愚昧越陷越深?!!有句话说...当你越陷越深时，最终只会无法自拔...

呵呵，曾经...我把爱情看成是生命中不可或缺的一部分。。。然而现在...我不知道..那是对是错?!!也许，一次又一次的被拒绝，让我不再让自己陷入一段感情...有人说，是你缘分未到....呵呵...也许吧...我，并不想再去想这烦人的东西...

就算是让我再遇见心仪的对象，这份感情，也只会永远收藏在心里...决不泄漏..~~~

Think about it first

I don't know why , today , i think about so many things....I... started to worry about myself , ya , worry about my future , what am i going to be when i've grown up later?!!

I don't know .... In my mind , i hope that i could get myself a degree for education?Ya , that's what i think ...but ..if the local university,no doubt , that's definitely suck ...but if private...then it need a lot of money...Money ,that's not a simple question , since i know how valuable the money is and , how hard , for us to earn the money...and , some of them will ever say , we can earn back later...but , think from other way , will you able to earn it back ?!! is it a Guarantee ?!! well , that's no...and it really depend on yourself , whether u want it anot..and , if you really want , you have to work hard...and , don't forget...you have to work hard for what you want , or...you will never get it..

As we're young , we alway ask things from our parents , hundred++ sometimes thousand ++...but , think bout , do you ever think about it?!! how hard did our parents work for the RM1000??!!! that's not a little amount you know ?! And.what i heard from my boss , is really right...he said , whenever his daughter ask for something...then .he will answer her , you buy me one Rm100 thing , i'll buy you one RM500 thing....
so , do you get it?! ya , when we are young , we don't even know how to earn the money...but...we spent alot of money...

Money that we spent such as Tuition fees , school fees , uniform fees , food , computer , handphone ETC , and i think that from 1 year old until 19 years old , how much did us spend our parents money?!!! i think that's uncountable....Didnt it?!

So..once i step out and work , only i know how hard it is , just to earn money....do you think you can get 2-3k the 1st time you step out to this community?!!ya , you can , whenever you're dreaming , what you need , without hesitation , is experience...doesnt that?!

So....whenever you wanna ask something from your parents , think about it , and ask yourself , did you parents ever , ask something from you?!!! they never..so please be a filial son/daughter in order to disobey them ... They are your parents , and...All parents love their children ....there isnt any exception...

And , my future...that's really indistinct..i don't even know , where should i go next year , should i continue my job ?!! or go for what i want...Mayb , i'll retake my Muet and make it band4 or 5 , that's what i want...since i've improve so much...yeah! that's what i'm really proud of...working in TVR really help me improve my english well..and ....i really have to show respect to my boSS ( Alfred Koh) he's the one who really want to cultivate me , ya , the 1st time you met me , you told me like tat , u wanna cultivate me , and you really did it...even now , i'm not as good as you , but i'm really improving ...my english improve a lot within 2 months....really...and , i hope that , i can go further and further... and won't remain at the same point...that's what i really hope for~

Even now , i feel that ,there's just two choices for me , its really depend , all have to depend on how is it going Next year , after i get my stpm result.......but i hope , i can score a good result , mayb ..that's impossible.....but , will miracle appear?!! haha..maybe ?!! if i become more hardworking from now......

Last tribute to Mdm Ooi C M‏ (By Alfred Koh)

Dear all,



My sister in law passed away yesterday all of a sudden.

She was sent to Kuala Krai ICU, then KB specialist centre,

and finally ... gone.

We were sad and missed her so much. When coming

back from KB, we calmly told the children that

their beloved aunt is gone... they burst out crying...

My daughter showed me a handkerchief sew by her aunt

and between sobs, she said... "aunt said she wanted to teach me to sew.."

My nephew said, "I just helped her feed the bird this afternoon...."

A cloudy day....

She was so closed with us, caring for the children, good in tailoring

and gardening, and was temperate in her behaviour.

All of a sudden she has just gone away forever....


I always said life is destined, and fate is destined,

seeing many who pass away without leaving big impact

on me.

But this time it was so different.

I thought I could hold my tears, but when seeing her

lying down in the coffin, the last apperance was so

peaceful and gentle... but soon she would be sent

for cremation.... i burst out crying....


Life is short.

The purpose for us to live in the world is to love,

to share and to contribute. We are born into

our family, we have our own parents, children, relatives

and friends, this is a special 'arrangement'.

We should treasure it, value and appreciate

whatever we have. We will soon leave this world

too, then everything on earth, or anything belongs

to us... will have nothing to do with us anymore.


Therefore, we should be kind to the people

we know, we love and we care. We may think that we are

important, knowledgable, doing great job to the society...

but compared to the all mighty, we are just a petty dust....


May God or Buddha bless all . May our world become

more and more peaceful. May all those aggresive world

leaders change their crazy mind. May those criminals

have a sense of mercy... respect the life of others.


May all love and being loved, care and being cared for ...

May the religions make no boundary in basic humans' life... may

all understand this....


May God or Buddha bless the soul and spirit of Mdm Ooi C M.


regards,

Alfred

The difference between rich guy and poor guy..

Lol , thx you for fetching me this morning , yet giving me inspiration to write this blog , wakaka , you knew exactly who i'm talking about , don't angry then , wakaka , but that's what i experience , in your car?!Wakaka , don't say that i have many pattern , since this's the truth , just admit it =) didnt it?!! LMAO

Whenever police see poor people without license , no doubt , without hesitation , they will fine the hell out of you....but , whenever police see rich people , even you didnt bring your license , I/C , and don't even wear the seating belt =.=''???and the police will say , next time don't do it again and ask you go.....

Haha, that's really terrible , since "Malaysia Boleh" o0o Boleh?!! CAN??!! This country , DEFINITELY CANNOT!! STUPID ONE!!!...haha , and rich people @@ please....take good care of poor people like me ya =) wakaka